


Aftermath

by eledhwenlin



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-04
Updated: 2004-04-04
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:23:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eledhwenlin/pseuds/eledhwenlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This deals with the aftermath of "Stalker".</p>
    </blockquote>





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> This deals with the aftermath of "Stalker".

He thought he was dying from the inside out. Feelings rushing through his body, nerves on end. He thought this might be it, the final breakdown he had waited for all this time. Another reason why he couldn't let this happen. So many reasons and none of them made sense. He wanted to break down, to get this over with, to declare officially that yes, he couldn't do it anymore. He wanted to leave and seemed to be stuck. He wanted - fuck, he knew what he wanted. The problem was that nobody else did.

Fortunately he had been alone, when the panic hit him. He didn't know what he would have done, if there had been anyone with him. He'd have probably terrified that person for all he was worth, given them the scare of their live. He couldn't do that, could he? Never show you're weak. Always be in control. And somehow none of this made sense anymore. He just wanted to stop. To stop doing this, to stop hiding, he wanted the world to stop turning around the sun, he wanted time to stand still.

He knew what he had to do. He had heard that advice so often in his life and never, not once had he really understood how hard it was to do. Just go with it. Roll with the wave, until it's over. Keep breathing. If he hadn't been already almost desperate to get air past the clump in his throat, he would have laughed at that. You never really think about how much you need to breathe, until you just can't do it anymore.

Finally it was over. He sat on the chair, breathing hard, sweating and only slowly he understood that it was really over. Over. Pulling himself together, he reminded himself to breathe, just breathe, until that pressure on his chest lessened. Somehow it was working, although he couldn't have explained it, if his life depended on it. Then, eventually, he felt like himself again. That is, as close to himself as he could come these days. He would have probably scared his whole family, if they ever saw him like this, if he ever let them visit him.

A knock on the door brought his attention back to the present. With a jolt he realized he was still sitting in the lab, that he was supposed to work. What a better time to have a panic attack.

"Hi. How are you feeling?"  
  
He didn't look at Greg. As long as he didn't see him, he was safe. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"  
  
"You look like hell. And you're not fine. Did something happen?"  
  
Exasperated, Nick broke his own rules and looked at Greg. "I'm fine and nothing happened. If it did, it wouldn't be any of your business anyway, okay?"  
  
He could see muscles tighten in Greg's jaw, but for once the other man let the matter go. "Okay. I just wanted to tell you I've got your results."  
  
Nick stocked at this. "Why didn't you page me?"  
  
"I did. Half an hour ago. And fifteen minutes ago. Then I ran into Warrick who told me you'd been in the lab since you came back two hours ago. So I came looking for you." He could hear the 'I was right in doing so' clearly in Greg's voice.  
  
"You found me. So, what about those results?"  
  
Reluctantly Greg gave him some sheets of paper. "Here they are."   
  
An awkward silence stretched out between the both men.  
  
"I'll head back to DNA then." He got as far as the door, there he stopped and turned back to Nick.  
  
"Nick. I want you to know that you can talk to me. Whenever you feel like it, okay?" Like an afterthought he added, "I'm pretty good at keeping secrets, too."  
  
Throughout his offer to help him, Nick had been looking at the table in front of him only. But after Greg had finally gone, he stared at the door for a long time.


End file.
